ANGELA: When I was nine, my mom signed me up for a dance class. An ex-Shen Yun teacher had come to Los Angeles and she decided to hold a class for little girls and little boys to start learning Chinese traditional dance to help us become Shen Yun dancers eventually down the line. That was an interesting experience because it was my first time meeting anyone from Shen Yun. I actually lived with her for a whole summer, kind of like a boarding school type situation, except it wasn't really a school. It was her apartment turned into a dance studio. So a bunch of girls and I would live there in little sleeping bags on the hardwood dance studio floor. And we would get up at 7 a.m. in the morning, do the exercises, dance for like five hours a day, and practice Falun Gong with her. And I looked up to her very much when I was little. She clearly had favorites within that class. The dancers who were amazing were among her favorites. And I was not, because she could tell I was just there for shits and giggles. I wasn't really serious about dance. But she, I know she also knew that, I really admired her. Like she knew that I would do anything she said. So during one of the dance lessons, she sat us all in a group and began group sharing. And we were talking about Attachments and worldly desires, things like that. All of a sudden, out of nowhere goes, “I know who the worst practitioner here is.” And everybody is so interested. Like who is it? And she goes, “oh yeah, it's Angela.” And I just sit there like, okay, this is weird. Like, “why me?” She's like, “have you seen the way she looks at food? She has so many attachments.” And then she started copying me. She's like, “oh my gosh, gogurt, ice cream, fried rice…” And everybody starts laughing. But I didn't realize that made me a bad practitioner, let alone the worst practitioner. And that was the first time anybody had said that kind of thing to me so publicly. Again, I was nine.
TYLER: What did gogurt ever do to you, lady? Don't take your gogurt trauma out on this poor nine-year-old.
LIZ: Call the Swifties. They'll handle it.
ANGELA: This amazing Shen Yun teacher is telling me that I'm the worst because I like to eat. Wow. If I eat so much, maybe I can't be a good practitioner. It's going to cause me harm in the future because of all the karma and spiritual things going on. So I felt really bad and I was the skinniest one in that class. I had no body issues at the time, but suddenly I did. I would stop eating because I didn't want to feel like I was indulging too much in things that I liked. Eventually that turned into not wanting to eat to feel satisfied because then that would be an attachment to food as well. Attachment to anything was found upon, really. Everyone had their attachments, whether it was food, pop music, my dad, World War II documentaries, my mom, Cosip Girl. Everyone had their attachments that they wanted to get rid of. And it wasn't only interests, it was also emotions, anything that you felt strongly about, except for Falun Gong, of course.
LIZ: Ah, the convenient bullshit of every cult. Don't place any importance on anything but the cult itself.
ANGELA: So sometimes my family and I would have little group sharings at our own little dinner table. And we would talk about our Attachments. And I would always say my attachment was food because, oh, you know, the teacher gave that to me. And maybe the reason why my parents are so angry all the time is because I'm not a good practitioner. Maybe if I cut off food, I will be a better version of myself. For a while, nobody really knew about it because, like, I would just say I was on a diet. I didn't tell my parents about it either, because I thought that they would side with the teacher. But when I was 16, I had the wonderful chance of auditioning with Master Li himself in Long Beach, California, Terrace Theatre. I remember the exact date because it was the most embarrassing day of my life.
LIZ: And that's it for today, guys. Please join us next week to hear the rest of Angela's mind-blowing story, how the cult tightened its grip on her family, pushed them to the brink, and how Angela finally found the strength to break free, leading her to bravely speak out today.
ANGELA: The elevator door is open, and I'm face-to-face with Master Li himself. It's a surreal experience, because my mom is there, and she's trying not to fall over on her knees and be like, “oh Master Li, it's you!” And she walks me over to him. This whole time, I'm like trying to keep my mind blank, because he can read minds. I don't want him to like see something. But of course, he knows everything. So what's the point?
